Free At Last

It was a brilliant idea. Lam started coming to school with me last week. I taught the class downstairs, she took the beginners class upstairs. I would sneak out of class, run to the hotel, pack, and escape. Class is one and a half hours long, giving me plenty of time.

I was still scared to death. This thing had taken on a life of its own. I had become a prisoner of my own fear and guilt. But I would try one more time. I swear to God that she can read my mind, because when the day arrived she decided that she wasn't going to class any more. I just knew that she knew what I was planning.

Before I left for class Lam asked for money to go food shopping and put gas in the motor bike. Ah, maybe here is another opportunity. Not as safe as the other one, but she would have to be gone for maybe 30 minutes. I went to class, told them I would not be teaching that day, and walked back to the hotel. She had already left so I wasn't sure how much time I had.

There were two maids in the room cleaning when I arrived. I told them my girlfriend was crazy and I was leaving. They both helped me pack, which in the end saved me. Had they not been there I might have chickened out, like every other time. This time I couldn't. I was so scared of her returning and catching me I was drentched in sweat. Then ran to check out and hop in a taxi to freedom. Five minutes later my cell phone rang. It was Lam. I just barely made it out in time.

Holed up in my hotel room I was feeling pretty lousy about what I had just done. I imagined what Lam was going through at that moment. How she had to pack up and leave the hotel in total humiliation. (The desk girl told me today that she was crying when she left.) I couldn't have felt worse and was probably regretting my decision.

After skyping my son in Ha Noi I had to get out of the hotel. I took a valium to calm my nerves and kill the guilt. I walked to the other end of the beach so that I wouldn't run into Lam. I figured that she might be looking for me already. Within minutes of reaching the beach a group of Vietnamese men and women drinking beer and eating peanuts asked me to sit down and join them.  It didn't take long for them to get four beers into me on an empty stomach. That and the valium made things look much better.

They insisted that I then come with them to their house for a late lunch. Which I did. There were about 20 people already eating when we arrived. I was the guest of honor and entertainment for the meal. It was delicious but don't ask me what I ate execpt there was rice involved. Then one of the men brought me back to the beach.

Within 5 minutes Lam had tracked me down. Maybe she has a tracking device planted on me. Or maybe she was patrolling all of Nha Trang. I don't know, but she found me much faster than I thought possible. She cried of course. At least she wasn't crazy and did not make a scene. I listened for a while and then walked away. She followed by motorbike. Eventually I was able to slip her and get back to my hotel unnoticed.

I canceled class for the night, I was still pretty much out of it. And that was that. I'm free. Sort of.

The next morning she found me jogging and tried to persuade me to let her back. I wasn't moved at all. That kind of surprised me.  However she did follow me to my hotel and now knows where I'm staying, but she can't enter. Later in the afternoon I went to another beach to read and relax. She found me there too. So, I am being followed, I wouldn't call it stalking yet. She keeps crying and telling me to give her another chance and I said that she already had enough chances and that I just want to live alone again in peace and without stress. The more she talks the more I am certain that it's over and I'll never go back. Her persistence just emphasizes all the more how controlling she has been over me. She's relentless. And now it's my turn to be relentlessly free of her.

Frankie arrives tomorrow night and next week is the big Tet celebration and school will be closed for ten days after that. I think I will head up to Ha Long bay for a week to let things settle down down here. Maybe by the time I get back she'll be over it. What a dreadful lesson this has been. I never dreamed that one person could control and manipulate me like she did. As strong as I thought I was, I wasn't. I will think twice before I ever let a women live with me again. As smart as I thought I was, I was still pretty dumb. At least now I know I'm dumb. And that is pretty smart.

Now for the good news. This is the last you will hear of Lam. Maybe just a few tidbits, but the drama is over. Back to a normal life and what it's really like living in Viet Nam.