Monday, November 26, 2012

Getting Married

What took me so long in writing about my marriage? There is probably some deep psychological reason, but I don't want to know. Married life is stressful enough. And it has been stressful. Actually, as expected, it was stressful from two weeks before the actual eventful day, I mean days (two weddings).

Up until the final two weeks I was thinking how impressed I was at how efficiently Anh had handled all the details on her own. But just as I thought that, all hell broke loose. It seemed we began fighting about everything. I'm kind of a middle of the road kind of person, expenses wise. You know, not the cheapest, and not the most expensive. Anh wanted her wedding to be the best ever. Neither of us wanted to budge. Needless to say, she got the best wedding ever. Actually, there were two weddings. One in the countryside for her parents and neighbors, and the other here in Nha Trang for friends and colleagues. A total of nearly 700 guests in all.

 Below is a photo of the wedding in Nha Trang at the Sunrise Resort.



Anyway, the wedding in the countryside was fun. It began with the actual ceremony at Anh's parents house. You should know that this is merely a cultural ceremony and unlike in America it is not a legal marriage. My son Frankie and daughter Angela flew in for the week and Frankie was able to Skype the ceremony to my Dad and oldest daughter Gina and family. I was so happy to have two of my children here to share the big day. It meant everything to me. Here is a ceremony picture with everyone:


After the first wedding we had a couple days off and then celebrated in Nha Trang. Things are done a little different in Vietnam. Before the actual wedding the bride and bridegroom spend a day with a wedding photographer and take hundreds of pictures in the wedding gown at various places. Here are a couple:



The wedding party at Sunrise was not fun at all. We had to stand and have our pictures taken with everyone as the entered. Then we had to go around and have our pictures taken with everyone as they ate. By the time all that and the rites were done the party was over. We didn't even get to eat and there wasn't even a table for us. Then we had to have our picture taken with everyone as they left. If you ever plan to get married in Vietnam, I suggest you go over the rules ahead of time. Otherwise, it will not be fun at all.

It's been a month now since the weddings and we have had some major disagreements and things to work out. Both of us are pretty difficult at times and don't give in easily. Between our age and cultural differences it has not been easy. (It was much easier when we were just dating.) Today things seem to be going well, but that could change in an instant. When things are good, they are very good. And when they are bad, I want to rush back to America and forget I ever came to this country.

All in all, living in Vietnam has been and still is quite a learning experience. I have no choice but to be more and more conscious, just to get by. Life here is one challenge after another. And I wouldn't have it any other way.