Leaving Vietnam

Heavy heart. Sitting at the airport in Cam Ranh waiting for the plane to take me to Ho Chi Minh Cith where I will leave for home tomorrow. Heavy heart.

This trip was at times a struggle. Three months of mostly rain, noise, and neighbors without boundaries. I found myself yesterday cursing to myself everything I heard a driver honk a horn. And frustrated that the sun had finally come out and the water was clearing up, now that I am going home for Christmas. I am happy and sad to be going home.

On Sunday we had a big party at my house with students from Crazy Kim's school. They are the bright shining light of my life in Vietnam. On Tuesday we had another little going away lunch at the home of one of my students in the morning class. I'm happy that both my morning and evening classes have native English speaking teachers to take over. I'm not happy about their methods. (Mostly they talk and students listen. How satisfying for them and useless for their students.)

It is a lot of work to get here and a lot of work to leave. I had to buy a lot of things for the house which I am leaving. My rental house is a small mirror of Vietnam. A view of the South China Sea to die for and the constant bombardment of noise from the street traffic 20 yards from my front door. So frustrating.

Went for a boat tour of some islands on Saturday. Tour guide looked a lot like president Obama.

I do love Vietnam in a way I've never loved another country. And I love the Vietnamese people in a special way. I don't know what the future will bring. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to breathe and just be present and see what unfolds. I'm a little scared. I'm trying to just accept my sadness and uncertainty. I'm sure I will know what to do when the time comes.

Well, America here I come! Can't wait for Christmas, can't wait to see friends and family!

Brown and Gray

What a difference a year makes. Last winter we had sunshine and beach weather nearly everyday. This winter it's brown and gray everyday. The ocean is brown from being stirred up constantly and the sky is gray with clouds and rain...constantly. Nha Trang's colors are brown and grey and in a week or so I'll be trading those colors for New England's winter colors of...brown and gray. Shit.

This has not been a party by any means. The house that I have rented, while having a great view of the brown ocean, is bombarded by the sound of cars and motorbikes. It's almost impossible to practice my guitar. There is no peace here. I've found it difficult to eat a healthy diet. (Although I found a great vegetarian restaurant last night.) Even teaching has been a chore this winter. I don't know what it is but I haven't been able to find a formula for teaching a class that feels productive. What is the best way to teach English? I don't know and I'm frustrated. Thankfully the students are wonderful and I just love being with them.

Most difficult is a lack of Americans here that I can talk to and hang out with. I lost the one good friend I had here when I told him the truth about his teaching. He didn't appreciate my perspective and told me our "association" was unhealthy. So now he gets drunk and stoned everyday alone, with the idea that some organization is going to send him thousands of dollars to become enlightened by "Mr. Brad" on the only correct way to teach pronunciation. He barely survives on the money he makes tutoring out of his apartment.

I'm ready to come home and recharge my batteries. I broke out in a rash last week and I'm still itchy and can't stop scratching. I need some good wholesome food from Wholefoods. I need my mom's spaghetti and meatballs. I need some sunshine!